


If These Walls Could Talk

by crossingwinter



Series: Star Wars Drabbles & Ficlets [12]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: (more relationships to be tagged as L3 recounts them), Canon Compliant, F/M, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-23
Updated: 2019-04-23
Packaged: 2020-01-24 16:05:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18574894
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossingwinter/pseuds/crossingwinter
Summary: Let’s get something out of the way:These wallscouldtalk.  Quite articulately.They could also move around, and stimulate themselves and others quite nicely, thank you very much.The life of a voyeur is not what these walls anticipated.But it was either that or losing all of my—frankly—ample prowess to nothingness, so I suppose I’ll take what I can get.But I digress.The things I have seen.—————The Erotic Memoirs of L3-3T





	If These Walls Could Talk

**Author's Note:**

> in a rare case of "i'll post as i have updates" here, have an "i post as i have updates."
> 
> unbeta'd, all L3.
> 
> thanks to the rffa chat for this fucking incredible idea and thisgarbagepicker for the title.
> 
> also--plug for [this collection](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/TheseWallsCouldTalkTheEroticMemoirsofL337)\--if you want to write The Things That L3 has seen, PLEASE DO ALL TAKES AND PAIRINGS WELCOME

I saw Han Solo lose his virginity once.  It was...underwhelming.

Far more interesting was the first time that he had sex with his wife.  They weren’t married at the time. They were trying to get away from Ewoks, who were insisting upon dancing with them, celebrating a frankly marvelous destruction of the Death Star (some of my best navigational work.) They were both telling one another that they had to be quick, that they didn’t know when Luke would be back, but that they didn’t want to wait for him.

I don’t really know why they were both thinking about Luke.  Discussion of him did cease when Leia took her dress off. Han certainly stopped making anything remotely close to sense as he stared at her chest, and she had to kiss him to make him shut up.

He didn’t last long. I suppose he took those assertions that they had to be quick as literally as possible.  But then again, no one lasts the way Lando lasts. And you can tell Han I said that. They were doing it in Lando’s bed.  No matter how many times Han claims the ship is his, it’s Lando’s. Why else do you think we flew like a dream when blowing up that Death Star?

In any case.  He didn’t last long.  Leia seemed a little disappointed in that, but he made it up to her.  A little clumsily, but, well—

It wasn’t his first time having relations like this, but it had been a while.  So long I think he forgot everything he learned that first time. But she seemed less disappointed after a while.  I even think she may have enjoyed herself by the end of it. She’s not the sort to hold back for the sake of his ego.

We have that in common.

Anyway—

Those two—they managed to have a good amount of sex in Lando’s bed.  Not all at once, mind you, it was a recurring location. I think mostly out of respect for Chewie.  He did not want to be exposed to it.

Unfortunately,  _ some _ of us aren’t quite so lucky.


End file.
